Grade 11, 30 days left and then onto my last year. I don't know if this classify's as a rant, but just give me a paragraph or two I'm sure I will get there. Ever heard of IB? International Baccaloriate? No? Good. It is evil. But i love it. I just finished writing my Math World, I am pleased with myself, not because i think i did well, no more that i haven't started crying yet. Honestly I am holding it together rather well, though after the second half tomorrow, I am not really sure how i will fair. I am dropping into partial though, i think this exam really pushed me over the edge where it was like "oh maybe I will keep it up" to "fuck no". I mean right now, I don't even think i passed, which is bad for most people, but in my normal books the not passing freak out is at a 70 or maybe a 68 for Math.
So that all sucks, to add more to my world of suck, i found a new boy I like, and I for certain like him, no way I can deny it, really when I am taking alternate routes to my locker it is terribly apparent. All good right? No. Said boy is in my Best Friend Trio with another girl lets call her... Sam. So anyway Sam and I are best friends with said boy and lets just say she does not like the idea of anything ever happening between me and the other boy. And in some ways i understand what she is saying, yes it could mean bad things for our trio friendship and all that but... here is my argument. I will probably not ever actually date this boy, because a) he likes another girl and b) I would be scared shitless because of the whole friendship factor. These things i am perfectly fine with. All i want is to have the freedom to like the boy without being glared at or the passive remarks about the extra time I am spending with him! In all honestly weather or not I liked him that would happen because she is off with her Boyfriend who she is absublutly head of heals for which i am perfectly fine with but since i broke up with the douche i really don't have anyone to be with myself. So whats the harm? Hes concerned with this other girl and as long as i deny my like to the end of the world... where is the harm? He is a really nice guy, complete opposite of the guy i just dated and makes me feel safe, whats wrong with liking someone like that? I am too busy for a legit relationship why not keep my mind occupied with him instead of falling for someone i don't really know again? I don't understand this notion of relationships and like and love and all that, I am still figuring it out and i really don't know what to do with the drama.
So that all sucks, to add more to my world of suck, i found a new boy I like, and I for certain like him, no way I can deny it, really when I am taking alternate routes to my locker it is terribly apparent. All good right? No. Said boy is in my Best Friend Trio with another girl lets call her... Sam. So anyway Sam and I are best friends with said boy and lets just say she does not like the idea of anything ever happening between me and the other boy. And in some ways i understand what she is saying, yes it could mean bad things for our trio friendship and all that but... here is my argument. I will probably not ever actually date this boy, because a) he likes another girl and b) I would be scared shitless because of the whole friendship factor. These things i am perfectly fine with. All i want is to have the freedom to like the boy without being glared at or the passive remarks about the extra time I am spending with him! In all honestly weather or not I liked him that would happen because she is off with her Boyfriend who she is absublutly head of heals for which i am perfectly fine with but since i broke up with the douche i really don't have anyone to be with myself. So whats the harm? Hes concerned with this other girl and as long as i deny my like to the end of the world... where is the harm? He is a really nice guy, complete opposite of the guy i just dated and makes me feel safe, whats wrong with liking someone like that? I am too busy for a legit relationship why not keep my mind occupied with him instead of falling for someone i don't really know again? I don't understand this notion of relationships and like and love and all that, I am still figuring it out and i really don't know what to do with the drama.
There is a very intercohort rant, but its pretty much my thoughts on to web.
Yours In Rage,
Arie
Arie
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